Lonely....

That is how I feel. Lonely.. You don't want to seem to talk to me.
I can't force it out from you. So I can't do much. But just stand here and wander,
cry myself to sleep thinking about you every night, wandering..pondering...

Lonely.. That's all I have to feel now. I text you pages long, I get 2-3 sentences of reply. That's all...

Sleepless night....

I can't sleep...
And I don't know why...
Too much thoughts in mind..???

I wander at times...
Am I doing the best I can do....
Or are my efforts still insufficient...??
Am I doing too little...
Am I scarifying enough...
Or am I scarifying at all???

Have I done enough...??
Or should I do more???
Have I done what have said I'll do...
Are they good enough??
Have I been changing my ways??
Or am I still the same...
Or at least have I changed some ways of mine...

All day along...
Everyday....
Questions after questions are in my head...
Asking me...
Trying to find the answers...
I'm left wandering at my own actions and thoughts at times...

Nothing here makes sense at all...
All is just wandering in my head..
I just needed to get it out..
Don't have to think much...
Its all me....
Has always been...

Choose....

To chose to throw away an old friend or to keep...
That's an unfair choice someone must make....
But it's a choice I have too make..

I'm sorry my friend..
But I have to do so...
Or see my love one being disappointed with me...

It may be contradicting to you my dear..
But its just something I feel very heavy to do...
Would you do such a thing if I'm in your shoes..??
You wont know cause it never happen to you...

Well...I may sleep with a heavy heart..
But I'm truly sorry to have to do so...
It's the best for all I guess...
May you find your own happiness....

Holidays...

Its been 3weeks 5days...
Since my holidays have started...
Well it feels like forever...
hahaha..well not really..just exaggerating

Wells lots of things have happened..
Don't wanna say...

But it has in a way made me realize how
precious things or people are...
Especially those around us..
When they leave then you realize
How much they mean to you...

So here's my advise...
Treasure them..love them with all
that you can love..
Once they leave then you'll start regretting..

Well other then that..,
Work has been most of my life..
Other then my late nights on the computer or
On the phone talking to my dear...
So that's me from mon - fri..
Off days spend it either
Resting at home or..
Playing with the Naufal..
haha...

Well 3 weeks more till my dear
Is home..hahah..
And 1 week 5 days till school reopens...
Cant wait to study..hahah...
Serious....Boring you know
Never study the last term..
With no exams and stuff..only projects...
WALAU!!! hahahaha

Well then enjoy the rest of the holis...haahha