Pondering....

I get a lot of people telling me to just walk away..
even if knowing that its gonna be hard for me.
yet I'm not budging from where I am..
Nor am i going away.

They say words are not true.
that your saying it halfheartedly...
they say u should love for who i already am...
but not change me for who i totally wont be...
But I know deep down in my heart its true...
But i don't mind it...
I know i need the change anyways...
I also know...
That you mean every word you say/said...

Your thinking I'm lying to you about me
Slacking with my friends...
Well I'm not...
A girlfriend of mine, who some hows knows my manger n his brothers..
So they slack at our place...
Then "drinks" came out...
Which I did not expect to turn till she got very high..
I had to wait for her since we were sharing cab...
oks..there the whole thing that happened tonight...
P.S: i did not join them at all..if u were wandering...
I didn't want u to worry much thats y...
cant u ever see that i just did not want u to
worry so much about me...

cause knowing that u like to ponder so much...
all.........
idk what else to say....